Love and the Narcissist

With everyone looking for love in this world many fall victim to the narcissist. They come along pretending to be perfect or nearly so. With their very confident ego and ideas of grandeur. The paint such a pretty picture that it is very easy to fall in love with what they portray. Most of their previous relationship either ended up with them just disappearing or trying to come out looking like the victim unless they can still look like the good guy who is doing the right things.

Meanwhile, those they left are still sitting there wondering what the hell happened to them and their lives. Those that have loved a narcissist usually end up depressed and suffering with PTSD. They have spent months or perhaps years in a relationship feeling like they were losing their mind because the narcissist is so good at talking them in circles. It’s even worse when the narcissist is also an active addict the gaslighting and such that goes on can leave scars for years to come.

If the narcissist isn’t quite done with you and you try to separate and move on they may try to come across as wanting to work things out, claiming they are getting help if they are an active addict even going so far as going to treatment. They want to look like the good guy and to outsiders and people they claim as close friends may even try to come across as the victim of bad fortune.

I have learned that narcissists can very easily change the masks they wear going from I love you, you are the love of my life and can’t be with anyone else to the next day cutting you off and moving on to the next victim they have in their sights. A narcissist will most likely do this when they no longer have any control. 

If there are people around during this separation they will ramp up the victim role to look like they were the ones who were victimized and done wrong. It is all part of their end game. Narcissist like to be the centre of attention and the more attention the better. If you find that you have been a victim or are a victim of a narcissist try to separate from them. It can be a dangerous game and you may seriously miss all of the affection and attention they pretended to give while trying to portray the perfect companion and they may even put on a good show of trying to win you back. Please don’t fall for it as it is just a show a new hat they tried on to keep their hooks in you. It will only last until they have an audience that will help them determine which role they should play because they will turn it around on you and try to make you out to look like the bad guy or the crazy one they need protecting from.

If you ever need someone to talk to about being involved with a narcissist drop me a line. I have been there and done that and bought the t-shirt and will try to give you the best advice I can.